Managing Expectations at the Workplace – You Can Be Your Own Worst Enemy

In my opinion, expectations are a beast worth killing. If I could remove them from the face of the earth, I would.

Expectations left unmanaged can be detrimental driving you and everybody on your team insane. This applies not just to the person who holds them, but also to the person or entity expected to fulfill them. You expect to be treated a certain way, get specific rewards, earn status—and, worst of all, expect everything to go your way.

Expectations in the workplace are a reflection of our beliefs and values. They shape how we interpret what it means to be pretty, polite, a hard worker, and so on. In many ways, it's just our self-image manifested into reality.

I won't attempt to cover every angle here, but I will focus on expectations in the workplace. Know that these same principles apply everywhere.

“If I’m working hard, I should get special treatment; not only that, I should be rewarded for it.” That’s something everybody at work has likely thought or said.

Seems reasonable, right? Hardly the case, though.

A lot of people work hard—but, as someone once said:“If it’s about working hard, then construction or service workers should be billionaires.” Clearly, that’s not happening.

Hard work itself is relative. Not only does it not guarantee results, but what you view as hard work, I might not even consider “enough work”—and vice versa.

The more different we are—be it age, responsibilities, experiences—the more misaligned our expectations will be.

Between You & Your Team

This gap in expectations can act as a silent killer that drives your team to its doom. Misalignment leads to unfruitful discussions, delays, and even resentment—simply because things don’t go according to “our” expectations.

Recently, a team member of mine, who I believe has huge potential, started resisting change. I made the mistake of neglecting this team for a while, prioritizing other “urgent” matters. In the absence of guidance, people assumed they were doing the right things and felt neglected for it.

After two months of reconstructing, assessing, reintroducing processes, removing bad habits, having difficult conversations, and working to regain trust, she believed she was doing above and beyond and should be rewarded with a faster learning track, a higher salary, and more meaningful work.

Every company has its own way of rewarding and—dare I say—punishing behaviors, depending on what they believe moves them toward or away from their goals.

Alignment is essential. Without it, you find yourself in a losing situation. But she wanted rewards that she hadn’t yet earned because she felt entitled to them.

When guidance is absent, everybody feels they’re “right.”I’m right, they’re wrong.Hardly ever the truth.

With all of this happening, I had to have the hard conversation. It's even worse when you know that someone is in a tough position because of your mismanagement.

Some processes are non-negotiable for a team to be stable, safe, and organized—which in turn allows more freedom and innovation. Like a domino effect, a missing piece will block the entire goal. Evaluation criteria (KPIs) is one such piece.

The conversation lasted 45 minutes. I explained the team’s history, the processes, how I messed up, and what’s to come—ending with:“We’re a team, and if we’ve got these KPIs as our way of evaluation, there’s no way a team member can exist outside of them.”

It wasn’t my best, but it was the truth.

Certainly, she didn’t take it well, but thankfully things didn't escalate further. Given enough time, I believe promises are going to manifest into trust and fairness, which could become a turning point in her work experience.

So What Do You Do When Expectations Are Misaligned?

First—acknowledge it openly. Misaligned expectations never fix themselves; they fester.

Transparency and communication are your lifelines. That means revisiting goals, spelling out changes, and calling out the gaps.

Resetting expectations isn’t only about tough conversations. It’s about showing vulnerability—admitting when you got it wrong, when the process failed, or when priorities didn’t align.

After the reset, move from abstract to practical: documentation, feedback loops, regular check-ins, clear KPIs, and a shared definition of success.

Remember: expectations aren’t one-and-done. They will evolve as the team, the environment, and the goals evolve.

In the end, managing expectations isn’t about killing hope. It's about replacing silent assumptions with real dialogue, then using clarity to move forward together.When you stop letting expectations live unspoken, you stop being your own worst enemy.

If you find yourself facing these issues, feel free to share below or DM me (linkedin or x.com) if you want to talk about it more.

I wish you the best in forming the right culture at work.

Until then,

Bialy